


Heart's Eye

by Nellancholy



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempted Fluff, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, POV First Person, a bit of a character study/introspective, briefly mentioned self-mutilation, i really want to develop this au/timeline more, modern/mundane college au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 23:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11656743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellancholy/pseuds/Nellancholy
Summary: A follow-up to my previous Koishi/Flandre fic (Devil's Eye). Koishi has an early morning with Flandre. First person Koishi POV.





	Heart's Eye

My breath forms clouds in the morning air. Without thinking,I scoot closer to Flan,nuzzling up to her on the bleacher by the football field as she takes a bite of her microwaved breakfast sandwich,and sips from her coffee cup. Really,this was my idea. Flan’s got early morning classes this semester,so I figured she could use a little encouragement getting used to getting up early,just for the next couple months.

 

She hums a bit as I press up against her. I can almost see her blush,even in the dim morning light. I can’t help but laugh a little,as I wrap my arm around hers. “Still feeling cold? I should help you warm up…” You should have heard Flan complain when I got her up to shower in the morning. It sure was funny seeing her shiver,though.

 

“Um.” She swallows,turning her gaze towards the team doing their drills. “I’m plenty warm already,Koi. You know,you didn’t have to wake me up and bring me out here. I could do this without troubling you,as well. Waking up,that is. I’m…not a kid…” That’s her alright,always trying to play things off and be independent.

 

Her sister wasn’t really super possessive or controlling,but she was definitely something of a helicopter “parent”. I guess when your sister’s the only person you have,you tend to want to hold on to her and keep her safe. And I guess Flan just wants to prove she can do things on her own,after getting out from under Remilia’s thumb. Satori,on the other hand…

 

I guess it was really my fault. She learned early on to leave me to my own devices,though Orin and Okuu were always watching from afar. And then I…

 

I blink my right eye,gazing out to the field with Flan. I don’t touch my left eye anymore. Or my left eyelid,really. I don’t feel it any more. I don’t try to open it any more. Not since…

 

I did it to myself. It’s no one else’s fault,really. I still don’t really know why I did it. But right after it happened,there was a lot of finger pointing,a lot of yelling,hurt feelings all around. Orin was really worried about sending me off to college here,but Satori overruled her.

 

Satori…always looks at me with such love in her eyes,but also…such regret. One day,I really gotta find a way to show her how grateful I am.

 

In the meantime…look at me now. Miss Congeniality. Social butterfly. President of the GSA. Student counselor. I guess nothing can really stop me from seeing through other people. Wanting to help them in every way I can. Solve all their problems. Give them…what I couldn’t give myself.

 

I glance to my side again. Flan’s watching the practice intently. She looks…so beautiful right now. And pretty much any other time as well. When she’s just out of the shower. When she’s sleeping peacefully at night. When she’s trying and failing to pull an all-nighter. When she’s laughing at a joke I told her…

 

She’s got that ethereal,slightly magical quality around her. Like nothing anyone else can do can bring her down. She’s not selfish…but like…self-centered,in a good way? She might not have a ten-year plan,or really,even a one-year plan for her life right now,but when she wants something,she reaches out for it. She doesn’t deny herself. She’s…self-assured. And I don’t always say it to her outright,but… I’m happy that _I’m_ one of the things she wants for herself right now.

 

_“Koi…Koi…?”_

 

I’m awoken from my thoughts by her lovely voice.

 

“Hey,don’t fall asleep on me right now,you’re the one who woke me up in the first place. Come on,I’m done.” She raises her empty coffee cup for emphasis. “Let’s get inside.”

 

“Wait.” I hold her hand as she turns to leave.

 

“Koi,what’s-”

 

“Shh.” I press my lips to hers briefly,before pulling back. Our eyes meet. Her red eyes meet my...one green eye. I wonder…if that makes her feel uncomfortable. If…she’d rather not. Before those thoughts go too far,I lean in and kiss her again,more deeply this time. When we part,my face is flushed. I wonder if she can see that.

 

What I say next practically tumbles out of my mouth. “F-flan…I-I just wanted to say…thank you. For being here with me.” My voice lowers a bit. “F-for…loving me.”

 

Flan gives me that sweet,sweet smile as she looks back at me. I half expect her to play it off like she usually does. But instead…

 

“Thank you…for loving me,too. I…I know I don’t say it quite as often as I should,so…I love you. I love you. I love you.” She smiles again,and gives me a little squeeze. Another girl might act all reserved and get bashful when it comes to something like this. But here,whispering at each other in the dim light before dawn,she’s perfectly sincere. So strong,so warm,so…perfect in her love for me. That’s just one more thing I love about her.

 

“Now…let’s go. You’re the one who wants to make sure I’m not late,right?” With my arm still firmly in hers,she gets up.

 

“You got it!” And with that,we head back inside,just a little bit warmer than when we came out.


End file.
